Anxiety is an enemy I can't escape. Every morning, it is the gnawing in my gut. The weight on my chest. The relentless feelings of overwhelm. My mind accuses me. Hopeless. Useless. Terrible. Good for nothing. Every interaction with others requires monumental effort. Every minor task, an enormity. Crushed under the weight of all expectations. [...]
Too tired to write, but my mind is filled, with thoughts and revelations, to spill. So many years I woke up, with a pill, getting closer to freedom- I know that I will. Changes bring memories, that rise up like foam, on the waves- chaotic- of places I'm from. The voices can be greater, -hypocrite, [...]
I was thinking about a man I once knew, but this story is about the girl who brought us together; and who we both loved.
How do you know when something has died? A root from the earth, and stars in her eyes.
This is a hard blog post to make. Honestly, writing at all has been a challenge lately. There is so much sitting in my head that I want to work out with paper and pen; and so much on my ever expanding (neglected) to-do list. I am realizing that it's all connected to my trauma, [...]
Let me start at the beginning. I was so excited to have another baby. Soon, I would have two baby girls! My second child was my first natural birth. She was tiny! She opened her eyes and looked right into mine, and I fell in love right away. At six months old, she would close [...]