The clouds begin to part and my minds begins to wake again. I look around myself. The dishes in the sink. Every table surface covered in lazily misplaced books and toys. I remember that I did not always live this way. I begin to see again, like when your eyes adjust to opening after deep [...]
What I will remember, The salt in the air comes Before eyes find the water Holding her tiny hand, As she toddles over lumps of sand Carrying the stroller across My back, because the wheels stick What I will remember is The sound of their laughter, The pride in their face when they Show me [...]
When I open my eyes The brightness of the morning Tells me I slept late I listen to the peaceful breathing Of my sleeping toddler Curled against my back For a moment, I try to imagine Relief Soon, the weight returns to crush my chest The sickening sense of dread Turns my stomach And despair [...]
I wrote this piece on Medium. It was very hard for me to confess this addiction I have, but I hope it is the first step to freedom.
When I was 15, I was in a “residential treatment center”. Basically, I lived with other teen girls in a big house and we went to school and therapy together. It was actually a very nice one (thanks mom). But the point of this story is this- one day during group therapy we were talking [...]
As I cope with the lingering physical (hello, exhaustion!) and mental (hello, irritability!) effects of withdrawal from suboxone, my thoughts have turned to this process of recovery. Specifically, the spiritual implications of recovery. The Bible often presents us with two divergent paths. We are given a choice. Do we want the world, or do we [...]
Too tired to write, but my mind is filled, with thoughts and revelations, to spill. So many years I woke up, with a pill, getting closer to freedom- I know that I will. Changes bring memories, that rise up like foam, on the waves- chaotic- of places I'm from. The voices can be greater, -hypocrite, [...]
I was listening to Cyntoia Brown speak about her experiences as a teenage sex trafficking victim, and she explained how she did not realize she was a victim at first. In fact, it took her years before she understood she was taken advantage of and harmed by adults. This may fly in the face of [...]
One Flesh Keep the flowers on the vine Wait through the winter the sun comes out in time Love is sacrificial Bodies on the pyre What isn't swept away with water gets purified with fire One Flesh Like the sinews connecting flesh to the bone Keep me in your clutches so you never feel alone [...]
The brown bark of the trees look nearly black from the heavy rain soaking their branches The top of the trees reach skyward like long, bony hands against the almost-winter slate sky The sun has risen just now but the gray covers it's brilliance My baby presses close to me for morning milk And I [...]
recovering motherhood 