Anxiety is an enemy I can't escape. Every morning, it is the gnawing in my gut. The weight on my chest. The relentless feelings of overwhelm. My mind accuses me. Hopeless. Useless. Terrible. Good for nothing. Every interaction with others requires monumental effort. Every minor task, an enormity. Crushed under the weight of all expectations. [...]
When I open my eyes The brightness of the morning Tells me I slept late I listen to the peaceful breathing Of my sleeping toddler Curled against my back For a moment, I try to imagine Relief Soon, the weight returns to crush my chest The sickening sense of dread Turns my stomach And despair [...]
We won’t go anywhere today My loves Body and mind separate Only a half mother is left Wash the dishes Clean the floors Push back the creeping darkness- Desires Raise your voice an octave and smile There is no help coming There is no one to reach inside you And resuscitate your deteriorating heart No [...]
(I wrote this about PTSD being triggered) walk lightly over the path unexpected words send me reeling falling head over feet, weightless find something reckless, bring back the feeling when i was young meaning was lost in tomorrow a distant future i strained to see. my eyes were new, and all i saw was more. [...]
I was thinking about a man I once knew, but this story is about the girl who brought us together; and who we both loved.
This is a hard blog post to make. Honestly, writing at all has been a challenge lately. There is so much sitting in my head that I want to work out with paper and pen; and so much on my ever expanding (neglected) to-do list. I am realizing that it's all connected to my trauma, [...]