How Trauma & Remembering is Impacting Me

This is a hard blog post to make. Honestly, writing at all has been a challenge lately. There is so much sitting in my head that I want to work out with paper and pen; and so much on my ever expanding (neglected) to-do list. I am realizing that it's all connected to my trauma, [...]

Biblical Response to Cutting/Self-Injury

I gave myself a rare treat tonight; a nice hot bath. As a mother of 4 (and counting) taking a bath is an indulgance I don't often get to enjoy. I was listening to an audio book of the gospel of John, when I noticed the marks all over my body. First, I looked at [...]

Why I Had to End My Suboxone Detox; And The Physical Effects of Being so Sick

Hey everyone. I spent a week in bed, unable to move without help a few feet to the bathroom. At times I laid in bed so thirsty, but I couldn't move my arm to grab the water next to me in bed. I wanted so badly to continue, but my body couldn't do it. The [...]

Busy Moms Still NEED to Focus on Recovery

I am sitting at my laptop, it's almost midnight. I have my Anatomy and Physiology text books to my left, my homeschooling planner for my 3 kids to my right, and I just swallowed a handful of chocolate like medicine. My 3 daughters are sleeping (for now), and baby brother is finally asleep after I [...]

Trauma and Memory Recall

Memory is a strange thing for the traumatized mind. Some memories are nothing more than apparitions of smell, emotion, and touch; try as I might to put flesh on these ghosts, they remain as formless as mist rising in the morning. Other memories are clear on the big picture yet lack details. I remember his [...]

Trigger, Trigger. (PTSD)

Where does this despair hide itself from the rest of me when life is going smoothly? Does it seep into the corners of my mouth when I smile? Does it retreat into the shadows of my insides? How can it escape notice from the very person it inhabits? Until—a nightmare during sleep opens me up [...]