Somehow, I find myself fading Away from my Body Disconnection becomes self- preservation
Body- A Poem
Category: childhood sexual abuse
My Rawest Confession, and a Plea
This song really hits my heart. I am 31 years old, and my life is far removed from what it once was, yet I will never forget what it was like. I have found peace, and love, and life. The fountain of Messiah Yahushua/Jesus Christ who satisfies. Do you know what it means to be [...]
Looking Forward, Looking Back
This spring weather has been unpredictable. Unseasonably warm sunshine bleeds into dark curling storm clouds, threatening tornados. Some evenings I walk outside and breathe in the smell of the wet earth, growing again after the floods. Then, I take the children for walks during the day and we save half-dried worms off the warming concrete sidewalks. I’m not sure why, but I could never leave them there to wither.
How Trauma & Remembering is Impacting Me
This is a hard blog post to make. Honestly, writing at all has been a challenge lately. There is so much sitting in my head that I want to work out with paper and pen; and so much on my ever expanding (neglected) to-do list. I am realizing that it's all connected to my trauma, [...]
The Saving Grace of Motherhood
They don’t even know it, but they redeemed me. They lead me to the water of forgiveness. I was born, when they were born.
37 weeks Unassisted Pregnancy
Well, here I am at (almost) 37 weeks pregnant. This is my second unassisted pregnancy but I transferred to the hospital with my first unassisted birth attempt (due to my own unfounded fears, we were fine!). A UP is when a woman receives no professional care during her pregnancy, with a OB or a midwife. [...]
Trauma and Memory Recall
Memory is a strange thing for the traumatized mind. Some memories are nothing more than apparitions of smell, emotion, and touch; try as I might to put flesh on these ghosts, they remain as formless as mist rising in the morning. Other memories are clear on the big picture yet lack details. I remember his [...]
