Anxiety is an enemy I can't escape. Every morning, it is the gnawing in my gut. The weight on my chest. The relentless feelings of overwhelm. My mind accuses me. Hopeless. Useless. Terrible. Good for nothing. Every interaction with others requires monumental effort. Every minor task, an enormity. Crushed under the weight of all expectations. [...]
Month: July 2020
Body (Poem)
When puberty came, I kept Body slim and hungry When the male gaze found me, I covered Body with baggy clothes Scars form valleys and roads across Body, such as I raged against it Fingers down my throat, punishing. Young adulthood brought new understandings, Body grew and I allowed it to expand, to get full [...]
Dread of Morning- Poem
When I open my eyes The brightness of the morning Tells me I slept late I listen to the peaceful breathing Of my sleeping toddler Curled against my back For a moment, I try to imagine Relief Soon, the weight returns to crush my chest The sickening sense of dread Turns my stomach And despair [...]
Half Mother- Poem
We won’t go anywhere today My loves Body and mind separate Only a half mother is left Wash the dishes Clean the floors Push back the creeping darkness- Desires Raise your voice an octave and smile There is no help coming There is no one to reach inside you And resuscitate your deteriorating heart No [...]
Know- A Poem
(This poem is reflects my fears about sharing about my history of sex abuse and trafficking.) If you knew me Would you point your finger at me Turn your back against me Tighten your lips Into an angry line If you heard my story Would your thoughts turn Like sudden storm clouds If you [...]
recovering motherhood 