The warm summer air felt like an embrace as I walked. I watched the fireflies shine their lights; on and off, here and there. They flashed like miniature stars I could whisper wishes upon, bringing me back to childhood, when my father was still here.
With five children ages 8 years to 5 months, it's important to find time alone with each child. It can be difficult, but I have found going food shopping or doing other errands together is one of the best ways to get regular alone time together.
I was thinking about a man I once knew, but this story is about the girl who brought us together; and who we both loved.
How do you know when something has died? A root from the earth, and stars in her eyes.
Sometimes I feel so defeated as a mother. Are we allowed to speak this truth? Child of my own flesh and blood, yet she remains a mystery to me. I try to build strong walls to keep her from turning to the right or to the left, but I am reminded of my human frailty.
This spring weather has been unpredictable. Unseasonably warm sunshine bleeds into dark curling storm clouds, threatening tornados. Some evenings I walk outside and breathe in the smell of the wet earth, growing again after the floods. Then, I take the children for walks during the day and we save half-dried worms off the warming concrete sidewalks. I’m not sure why, but I could never leave them there to wither.